Overheard in an Israeli supermarket

David had been living in this quiet Israeli settlement for a few years, but had yet to master Hebrew. The Jewish Passover was approaching and his wife reluctantly agreed to allow him to buy a few kosher for Passover items. After sternly reminding him to at least get most of the things they required, she bundled him off, together with a cell phone and a shopping list.

Although David, an ex-commando, could calmly handle the most stressful of situations, shopping was sadly not one of them.  He entered the brightly lit store, and was pleased to see many of his male friends there as well. However, the first item on the list took him to an isolated section up a narrow ramp, and a narrow squeeze between giant packs of toilet paper. The washing liquid should have been an easy product to buy, but David stared at his list, then at the row of different washing liquids, and then back at the list again. This was more complicated then he dared imagine. He picked up his cell-phone and desperately rang his wife. David diligently listened, but was getting nowhere fast, and was commanded to pass the phone to any passing woman. Most annoyed, he did just that, first asking in Hebrew if anyone spoke ‘woman language’. Having been rescued from that challenging situation and now wheeling a chariot that included the right brand of washing liquid, David continued on his mission.

 

The woman who had interpreted his wife’s request, decided to keep a safe distance but still be available to help her good friend, David’s wife. Her ears picked up as she couldn’t help overhearing the following conversation.

David in near abandonment of his shopping expedition decided to hang out with his friend Joe.  David declared that he was determined to see this shopping trip through. However, after spending several minutes discussing the whereabouts of another item, both men shrugged their shoulders in defeat. “We’ll just have to ask someone else.”

They looked around, and David noticed a strange sight. The supermarket was packed with other men, all with cell phones, and shopping lists in hand. And one might add, with the same look of stupor. “Joe who are we going to ask? I’m not calling my wife again!” Joe pointed to one carefree guy who didn’t have his hands tied. David said to his friend. “No let him be, the poor guy’s getting married next month, let him enjoy his freedom.”

More male shoppers entered and to David’s horror, each had the same trade mark of enslavement. “Joe, its Passover, and we’re supposed to be liberated, maybe we should seek advice from the rabbi?” They frantically followed a black hat that was sweeping its way along the beverage aisle. “Quick, before someone else asks him questions of Jewish law!”

They span round the center aisle and confronted their community spiritual leader. The rabbi calmly lowered his cell phone and shopping list and asked how he could help? David flung his arms in the air and could only cry out. “On no rabbi…they got you too!”

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