David – Aliyah Counsellor From Hell

Dear David,

Everybody is protesting and asking the question why is not helping. I don’t want to be left out and I want to protest too. What can I do to help institute change in Israel?



Advice as given by David Kilimnick:

Dear Special Friend who feels left out and also wants to change Israel. As we are Anglos and we know what is better for everybody, let us look at the issue and what we can do. New olim (Jews that made Aliyah) from westernized countries are called Anglos, because we must all come from ancient Germanic ancestry.

Nearly everybody has been complaining about high prices in Israel over the past year. There have been protests and even conversations at Shabbat dinner tables.

You’re right about most protests not helping because their message isn’t clear. Some want better financial deals, others want to stop channel 10 from bad television programming, and others prefer female bus drivers to sit at the rear when driving. The protesters must unify to offer any realistic chance of change.

Yes, you’re absolutely right, the protests don’t always make their point clear. I thought the tent protests for free houses and clothes of last summer, were because parents didn’t want to pay to send their children to summer camp? That was made clear when the protest stopped once school began. If the demonstration would have called it the ‘Give us stuff for free’ protest’, then the goals would have been much clearer and change would have already been established.

Not to toot my own horn, but I joined some people last week and activisted myself. I was pulled into the protest, because I saw some cute women. My ability to care about what is going on is secondary to my sense of excitement. They pulled me in because of women and a loud speaker.

The guy was chanting something that rhymed and it was rhythmic. The point was clear- we need a beat. The protest began with a ‘Democracy now. Democracy now.’ They repeated it. Saying ‘Democracy now’ twice gave it more of a ring, even if they said it in Hebrew. I was involved. I like democracy. Then they started chanting, ‘Stop racism.’ Yeah, I like racism. We can stop that. Then they went on, ‘Cheaper prices.’ I started going crazy, screaming, I became the center of the protest. That is a cause that we need to fight for. I want deals. More sales NOW.

My emotions were in a frenzy; they had just mixed every protest into one, and they won me over. Then they started chanting ‘people should give up their homes in Rehavia.’ At that point they lost me and I went back to my fine home right off Ramban street in the Rehavia area of Jerusalem,  without a date.

My dear friend, once again. as you realized protesting in this way does not help. No protest will stop a capitalist from selling for a profit, and no protest will stop a government from raising taxes to a point where it is pointless to work.

I must commend you on your longing to take initiative. But what are you going to do? You must now take that next step and put yourself out there.

Find your way onto the streets in the middle of the day, make your point. Quit your job so you have time to make your point. Be out there fighting for lower prices because you do not have a job!

For questions you would like David to answer, please email: info@aliyahmagazine.com

David Kilimnick: Jerusalem’s Comedian performs at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement every Thursday & Saturday, in downtown Jerusalem and may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world.                                                                                                              david@israelcomedy.com  Ph: 972(50)875-5688   



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